Lt. Leonard “Digger” McNeil: Digger served a tour in Vietnam, and while he struggled to find Charlie amidst the dense foliage, he did collect some colorful language, along with some shrapnel in his ass. He was responsible for providing a nickname for each member of his platoon, coming up with such gems as Donald “No Hands Clap” Berry, Rick “Dumb Grunt” Dobson, “RIP Richard” and Charlie “Frag Worthy” Peters.
“Total Jim” Cooley: Total Jim spent some time with the Wu-Tang Clan, where he collected props and earned a rep. Since then, he’s done web design, added to his collection of unicorn figurines and made countless silent movies starring his collection of toy smurfs.
“Knuckles”: Knuckles writes ad copy by day and researches bald history in his spare time. His dream of joining the Coast Guard was dashed when he injured his sea leg in a bicycle accident. He ignores the call of the sea, and puts all of his energy into crafting nicknames for clients.
“Vega-Mighty-Mite”: Ms. Vega-Mighty-Mite spends her free time dressing her chihuahua in small capes made of expensive, imported linens, and knitting oven mitts for homeless bakers. She bows down to no one, but she occasionally kowtows to bus drivers when boarding public transport. It’s just one of her quirks.