Do you long for the validation that an awesome nickname brings? Of course you do. Lucky for you, Custom Nickname creates perfect nicknames for any individual for $25. What exactly does $25 get you? All of this:

ryannickum — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 05:41:24 +0000

A unique, custom nickname perfectly matched to your personality. One we give it to you, we promise to never reuse it. These things are one-of-a-kind!
An official certificate with you custom nickname to place on your mantel or in your cubicle.
A short, detailed letter explaining how your custom nickname was chosen.
A “Hello, My Name Is…” sticker with your custom nickname on it to wear proudly and so it will catch on.
The validation and sense of self-worth that only the perfect nickname can bring.

In addition to their creativity, the staff of Custom Nicknames utilizes literary references, hip hop lingo, pop culture references, encyclopedic knowledge of rare plants and animals, American Indian lore, copious amounts of alcohol, and the occasional outside consultant to come up with totally awesome nicknames. When stumped, they break out their Ouija Board and consult the spirits that reside on the ethereal plane.

Expect the unexpected. Prepare for surprise. Brace yourself for a nickname that exceeds your expectations, validates your very being, reinforces your sense of self-worth, and inspires envy in your peers. The nickname they choose for you will always be perfect, incredible, and timeless.