Ever since he was a child, Fitz longed for a nickname. While other children his age quickly took on nicknames that mocked or praised them, Fitz continued to be known as… Fitz. Through team sports, prep school, and various social groups, Fitz continued to watch as others received nicknames and he received nothing. Like a backpack of shame, Fitz carried this burden on his back like a noble Sherpa. As the years passed though, his longing refused to wain.
Last month, Fitz finally confessed his longing to his wife, who told him about Custom Nicknames. His wife filled out the questionnaire for Fitz, sent in his $25, and awaited her husband’s gift. A week later a large envelope arrived in the mail containing his new nickname. Fitz “Lil’ Tasty” Cahall caught on like wildfire. His wife dropped the name at a couple parties, he put the certificate up in his cubicle, and soon everyone was calling him “Lil’ Tasty.” And with that last remaining piece to his puzzle in place, Lil’ Tasty conquered the world.
Ever since the awkward middle school years, Jen McFann went by the nickname McSpazz. Despite her 4.0 GPA, excellent flute skills, and encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek and X-Files, Jen endured the ridicule of some of her peers. Of course those peers still pump gas and live with their mothers, but the sting of that name remained… until she contacted Custom Nicknames.
Their team of moniker wizards put their heads together, poured over her questionnaire, brainstormed for an hour, and came up with this: Spazzersize.
At first it seemed too much like the one she loathed, but soon she came to see that her old nickname was still a part of her, and this nickname payed homage and mocked the last one. Soon she came to own that name with pride. Now it’s emblazoned on a custom-made decal on the bumper of her Chevy Nova.